Randy Savage vs. Honky Tonk Man
from Saturday Night's Main Event
This match took place in the midst of Randy Savage's face turn. The lovely Elizabeth, up to this point was always the objectified girlfriend. Sometimes riot shield, as noted before, sometimes rope holder for the Macho Man's entrance. Always the pretty girl being held back by the prick who's just using her. A victim of her own self esteem. Maybe she thought she could tame this Savage and his wicked Harley that is the Intercontinental title, but in the end she is stripped of her self-worth and serves only as an example to women that can view from outside of the fury and excitement.
The Honky Tonk Man is the Honky Tonk Man. Cool, Cocky, Bad. He's accompanied to the ring by his girlfriend Peggy Sue and manager Jimmy Hart. They are your douchebag greasers for the evening. He and his cohorts show up to the malt shop just as Randy was about to make Elizabeth pay for the bill.
Despite being his girlfriend, Peggy Sue seems to have little interest in stopping Honky's pelvic gyrations directed at Elizabeth. Savage had enough of this guy the minute he walked in the door , however, and commences with the bionic elbows and jabs.
Honky is a lover and not a fighter and is not above letting his tiny wingman Hart grab Randy's leg and cause all kinds of mischief so he can waylay Rand. Each blow giving more valuable time for Mr. Man to thrust his hips while making Elvis song puns masked as conversation.
Peggy Sue is the confused young girl who herself is in a one-sided relationship and thinks by helping Honky into a PG Threesome she can cement a promise ring and his eternal love.
The melee spills outside and no clear winner is really determined. Still, from the catcalls and hoots of the onlookers it seems Honky was the one who was all shook up after. His pride damaged and his potential Cinemax-rated kiss parade on hold indefinitely he grabs his great equalizer. Guitar in hand he stalks Savage.
Fueled by lust and anger Savage argues the case of civility. His case is an accusatory finger to Honky's face. He's indignant that he might be done in by an object and not a man. He makes his cases with his fists. He persecutes with the flesh, but it's the lack of persecuted Flesh that drives the Tonk's honourless attack.
As he lay in the corner subdued and delirious, it's Elizabeth who puts herself between Honky and her man. Honky winds up to put the finishing touches on this epic cockblock but is surprised to see his woman protecting him. His moment of contemplation is cut short as Randy blocks the guitar and runs all three greasers back to the fairgrounds from which they came.
Finally, Randy realized that maybe he was on the wrong track. Perhaps an honest living and a girl to call his own were all he needed in life. And who was this woman who would sacrifice herself for him. This was not the subservient wench he walked in here with. It was then he remembered all the aisles that she cleared, the dinners that she bought and the ropes that she had opened. She once again prepped herself to open those same ropes as she always had.
"No. Today it's my turn."
In private, there have been countless chivalrous acts that have been selflessly played out at Dennys', KFC's, and on special occasions, Applebee's. In this instance, they were all validated by the most uproarious reaction to holding a door for a lady that has ever occurred. I should be so lucky as to wipe away tears as my date walks into the Truck Stop through the door blocked by my calloused, loving hand and I hoist her onto my shoulders.
